MY HEART CANT POSSIBLY BREAK WHEN IT WASNT EVEN HOLE 2 START WITH !

Do i have cheat on me stapped across my for head , or do people just get this weak feeling from me , or just by lookin at me , do boys get the image fuk me over it wil b alright!

I was testin the water with one boy , what does he go and do cheat on me , cheat on me , that girl who has had her heat broken soo many times already , that girl who knew if anyone did anything like what the last did to her , it would be the death of her !

but he did it, knowing everything i have been through and am going through and stil he does it , im such a fukin idiot and every time this happens i blame no one but myself cos it is my fault it must be simthing im doin , not giving them what they want , but wanting to weight a while , soo he think ill get it from someone else for now til shes ready ! wel i wasnt ready it had only been a week and half and i wasnt giving him wanted he wanted , cos i think more of my self , im not a slag and wnt get my name as a slag either , cos once ur known as a slag you will always be known as a slag and will neva eva eva get my self that nmes ever ! and i will make sure i dont !

there is no one way on gods earth i wnt another bf , not yet , not this year anyway , this academic !

yeah i liked this lad alot and he made me sad but he didnt break my heart becasue it wasnt even hole to start with!


If anyone comes to my attention , if any one likes me and i like them i will always think abiut it in detail first cos there is no way i will but at risk me gettin hurt all over !

because of the last one i find it hard to trust anyone, because of him im afraid , i no im weak , im a very weak person !

i dont no want to fall in love agen , not for a very very long tym 2 cum yet , mayb 5 years or so , im not ready , it not cos i stil love that other person cos im happy to say i dont have any feelings towards him , yeah i think about him everyday i think ,,, hmmm wonder wht he is doin and i wonder weather hes out 2 nyt , lil things like that i dont think bout my past with him and i dont think bwt the things we used to do , and when i think ahead and plan my future hes not init , to me thats a gd thing because he could pop in every now and then when i see him in the street aw sumit , but that will b a surpirise and i shudnt expect it cos it will b a surprise!

i haad another dream bwt havin lil babies agen last nyt it was amamzing , a girl and boy , mixed race , tight curly afros woke up this morining with a huge smile on my face , just hope do god that cumes tru for me !

Hospital , god lord where do i start , im dien :( :(, not im not really but i could be dead if things go rong!


so if anyone finds this blog when im dead ,keep it on the low


its saturday mornin , 12 .30 and im doin coursworkk , wht a llife ey , wht a bloody life :(



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