I HAVE JUST LOST A GOOD FRIEND

I have just lost a good friend that friend not being the one hu i go to skwl with alisa , the one hu i was with!

i cudnt give to shits about alisha cos she is a bitch anyway , shes as sent an email to a person hu i wish neva to have to talk to agen , i went on myspace and a comeent was left to go on to msn so i did , alisha told me wht she had sent :( :( i was devasted , devasted cos i wnbted this so go no further at all , i wanted it al to b over with but she obv has to carry on sumthing which is nuffin to do with her ,

im so angry but yet so sad right now , my lyf is getin worse and worse has days goes bi , shit with mum n dad have started up agen , im hatin towards my best friend a hel of alot ,

she has just caused me a hole load of truble i do not need at all , she dusnt give to fuks cos non of it involves her!

i havnt cried in ages , but i am now cos im so sad , shes tellin me things in anger which r so tru :( :( . im fat im ugly wel i alredy no al of that , im an embarssment , i dint no that , the list goes on dnt wna repeat them cos it wil just upset me agen , she is a bitch i neva wna have to talk 2 her agen eva

SHE IS A BITCH !

GRRR

NOT WROTE ON HERE FOR TYM

FOR FUKS SAKE IM SOO PISSED OF ITS UNTRU GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR



SO PIISSED OOFF , THIS MAYBE THE PIISSET OFF I HAVE EVA BEEN GRRRRRRR

IM SO PISSED OFF I CUD KILL SUM ONE GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

BUT IM FALLIN IN LOVE WOOHOOO

BUT STILLL GOD IM PISSED OF 2 THE HIGH HEAVENS GRRRR


GR
GR
GRRRRRRR

HMM NOT TO SURE WHAT TO CALL THIS 1 !!

Where do u bloddy start , im tryin my hardest my damn right hardest to not think bad or sad things about my future u no wht with bein not 2 wel and that , really scaring me and ppl r fussing i just want 2 b normal agen , not to have 2 b takin 6 lots of medication , not to have to keep goin 2 the hospital 4 times a week , i just wna b the old me!

I try to put on an act , i try to sounds loud and my normall self and laugh just finding it hard at the moment , they wont b to take months of skwl around 4 - 5 - 6 i think they said , but even after that i will need to have treatment after all that , my life does not feel worth living , the one thing which is keepin my sane right now i no this is really silly but having a baby and gloin traveling they are the only things that r keepin me goin , and well my family of course lol

i can feel my self getin worse , ive nt eaten in days i just frow it all bak up , and my frowt it kilin frm that , im coughin up blood , ,not told my mum about that tho cos i dont want to worry her even more , shes alredy i a bloody reck and its all my flippin fault !!! grrr hate myself for this .


God imagine if i died , that scares me soo much , ive only lived for 14 and abit years! wel i have has 13 years of a wicked life you could say , dien and not nowing if there is a heaven or a hell , or weather u just die and dnt go anywhere just chill in a box under the groung , nowin i neva forfilled any of my dreams , nowing i will neva have a child , that is scaring a me a hell of a alot about the baby !!

the thing is im on al of this medication and yet i can stil feel myself getin weaker by the day , this is apprantly normal but i can just about get myself up in the morin i was so dead this mornin my mum cudnt wake me up , i think that shit her up an awfull lot , she had to kinda dress me cos i just had no energy i got to skwl and i felt alryt i guess , got sum fizzy drink dwn me and felt a lil better , they i just tried to get my mind of it , that works but i had my mum and dad on my mind then , they i had my ex on my mind , i feel sorry for him , well im not to sure weather fellin sorry for him is what i really mean !

im happy for him / was happy for him that he was in love / in love , and im happy he has moved on but everytime i refelct back on what i had with him , i had nothing at all , our realtionship was built on lies , on his side not mine , he never loved me and i no that now m but i was stupid sum one / god gave me the signs and i never took them , i never did anything about hw i felt , tbh ending that relationship with him was a wicked fing , im happy i did it now , soo happy , yes it hurt me a hell of alot and nearly killed me everytime i found sumit new out about him bet getin married and him cheatin on me , but he did cheat on me i didnt want to belive it but he did do it 2 me , all my love for him has gone , i have no feelings what so ever which i am really happy about, im happy that i can still b his friend without having that felling of wantin him or wantin 2 b with him , which is such a wiicked thing !!! Im over him , i feel no love , no sad ness , no hate , just a friendship ! i will never love him agen!!!

god arnt i a bloody mess , my life is a mes , i could b dead soon , but still trying to forget!!!



I AM BROKENN ... BUT I AM HOOEEPIINGG


THESE BLOGS ARE THE CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEART !


x

IM LOSSING MY STRENGHTH AND ITS STARTING TO KICK IN

God this is what i have been dreadin for a long time , my ill ness is starting to kick in.

I have amence head aches

Ill eat and i wont last 10 mins without throwing it all up agen.

I cant sleep

i have no energy

No periods

I loook so ruff

im startin 2 bruise even when sum one just bumps into me

My hair is falling out in even bigger clumps

and i feel soo sad , but im trying to be happy

i have 2 stay off skwl but i cant , my mum tells me everyday not 2 go 2 skwl and 2 stay in bed etc

but i have 2 go , i cant miss all my work this is the most important yearr for me

i cant just give up now !

x

* MY DAD *

My dad left me on the 13th april 07 , when he chose to walk away from his wife and children for ever and decided he wanted to live the single life. His lien and his cheating story are still be told today , dif girls he has cheated on my mum with , breaks my heart to here them it really does , to no that one person , who you thought cared for you , loved u and never wanted to hurt you does hurt u , breaks you , tears you apart.

He's been arreted for abuse on my mum , there to much to say about what a nasty, eveil man he really is.

He has never ever let me down , ever since i have been a little girl if i asked him to take me some where and he was busy he would still take me , hes always treated me lika princess always , cared and i always felt loved by him , he always made me smile always , always take the mik , he always told me the truth , he never hurt me , he was such a wiickked dad , he was someone i thought of as my age not s dad age , i always thought of him as my older brother, and so it did all my mates like at parents everniing or sumit , i would get sum lad sayin to me how cum ur bro as cum , or this lad i was goin out with chris sed 2 me , sumit bwt him being my bro he new me inside out but yet he stil thought he was my bro or cus aw sumit!

so why now , 2007 when i have my gcse's cumin up , wht does he decide to let me down , my does he decide to ruin my life , and break my heart , wht does he chosse to kick me out of my home , and kill my dreams ?

i wish i could say this to him !!!


i remember when u used to take me on a bike ride everyday ,
do you remeber that ? we were inseprable! , and i remember when you could do no rong , you come home from work and i jumped in your arms , i was so excited and so happy to see you.
because u loved me i overcome , and im so proud of what youve become , youve given me such security no mater what mistake i make your there for me , you kill my disapointments and you heal my pain , you understood my bizz and you protected me i tresure every year . that why i want my unborn son to be like my daddy , i want my husband to be like my daddy there is no one else like my daddy and i thank you for loving me.
haha lmao i still remember the expression on ur face when you had found out i has been on a date and had boyfriend ( your face was a picture)
words cant express my boundless grataude for you i appreciate wht u do!
Even if my man broke my heart today no mater how much pain im in i wil be ok , cos ive gta a man in my life that cant be replaced , his love in uncondition it wont go away i no im luky and i no it aint easy for men hu tae care of there responsibilties , love is over welming , you stopped my tears from falling , i love u so much daddy !

no one wil ever replace my daddy!


i would love to email him that or read it out 2 him but i cant those felings i has are gone , all those memories i have had have been ruined because i no what he has done 2 my family , i tell my self i love him , but i dont no wht this felling is i am holding .

when its ur dad thats hurting u mum , what the hell do you do , u have no choice but to take a side , so i chose my dads at first and then when i found out the truth i ran sdtraight to my mums side , where i stil am now .

my dad left for 3 months to think about what he wanted , i stook up for him when my family were calling him names , i got into fight with my mum about it , i got beat up several times by my mum for doing it !

scared the hell out of me when i think about xmas , what wil it b like , we wont be a family , we wont all b sat round a tree opening presnts that we have wanted for ages , i wont get to see that smile on his face when he opens a presants he has realy wanted , he wont b telling me , jorja go help your mum clean up and me rolling my eyes and saying for gods sake , this is making my cry cos im right it will never be the same ! there will always be some kind of fude in my family between my mum n dad , thats something i will have to deal with . MY wedding day , where do i start , it wont b the one i have dreamed about since i have been a little girl , because my mum and dont wont b together!

i love all my family soo dearly and would do anything , apsolutly anything to mend there broken hearts , i would die for each and everyone of them. i hate my dad because of the person he has become , and i hate him for hurting my family , i hate him for crushing my dreams , but deeep , deep, deep down some where im not sure weather i love him , wel i feel something but im not sure what it is .

this has made me grow up a lil faster than most teenagers i no , this will make me stronger to fight bigger problems in my life when im older but now i cnt see anything being a biger problem than losing sum one so close and tthem stil being alive but not been able 2 reach them because of the pain i am felling!

i wil try my hardest to not let this affect , benitas , mathews and luthers adult years , sophie is biiger enuf to no what he wants , meliisa is a gold digger she dosnt care about no one but her self she just wants him all to her self!

there is so much more that could and maybe shud have been sed in this blog , theres just to much to say tho .


x

MY HEART CANT POSSIBLY BREAK WHEN IT WASNT EVEN HOLE 2 START WITH !

Do i have cheat on me stapped across my for head , or do people just get this weak feeling from me , or just by lookin at me , do boys get the image fuk me over it wil b alright!

I was testin the water with one boy , what does he go and do cheat on me , cheat on me , that girl who has had her heat broken soo many times already , that girl who knew if anyone did anything like what the last did to her , it would be the death of her !

but he did it, knowing everything i have been through and am going through and stil he does it , im such a fukin idiot and every time this happens i blame no one but myself cos it is my fault it must be simthing im doin , not giving them what they want , but wanting to weight a while , soo he think ill get it from someone else for now til shes ready ! wel i wasnt ready it had only been a week and half and i wasnt giving him wanted he wanted , cos i think more of my self , im not a slag and wnt get my name as a slag either , cos once ur known as a slag you will always be known as a slag and will neva eva eva get my self that nmes ever ! and i will make sure i dont !

there is no one way on gods earth i wnt another bf , not yet , not this year anyway , this academic !

yeah i liked this lad alot and he made me sad but he didnt break my heart becasue it wasnt even hole to start with!


If anyone comes to my attention , if any one likes me and i like them i will always think abiut it in detail first cos there is no way i will but at risk me gettin hurt all over !

because of the last one i find it hard to trust anyone, because of him im afraid , i no im weak , im a very weak person !

i dont no want to fall in love agen , not for a very very long tym 2 cum yet , mayb 5 years or so , im not ready , it not cos i stil love that other person cos im happy to say i dont have any feelings towards him , yeah i think about him everyday i think ,,, hmmm wonder wht he is doin and i wonder weather hes out 2 nyt , lil things like that i dont think bout my past with him and i dont think bwt the things we used to do , and when i think ahead and plan my future hes not init , to me thats a gd thing because he could pop in every now and then when i see him in the street aw sumit , but that will b a surpirise and i shudnt expect it cos it will b a surprise!

i haad another dream bwt havin lil babies agen last nyt it was amamzing , a girl and boy , mixed race , tight curly afros woke up this morining with a huge smile on my face , just hope do god that cumes tru for me !

Hospital , god lord where do i start , im dien :( :(, not im not really but i could be dead if things go rong!


so if anyone finds this blog when im dead ,keep it on the low


its saturday mornin , 12 .30 and im doin coursworkk , wht a llife ey , wht a bloody life :(



x

LIFE DONT MAKE ANY SENCE 2 ME !!!

Got home today sat down at around 5 isshh and did my home ec courswork and it took me 4 frigging hours , 4 hours out of my bloody life to do that :( :( :(
but surpose it for the best soo il just keep doing it until i leave schoool , im couting down the days !

I dont even have time anymore to do this blog so im thinking aboout just canceelinng it , that lad i used 2 go out with always sed to take the piss out of me for doin it as well , made me feel really really stupid . And hes right :(. sooo im thinkin bwt deletin it but on the other hand its like no one ukin reads this and it mine so he can just b quite lol , but dnooo!

I had the weirdest dream last night wel i had loads of dreams , it was like replaying my life it was soo bizzar it really was :s :s . but im weird like that and i read into apositly everything lol soo im reading in to this as wel and tryna figure sum of it out !! lol

God careerr changed yet agen , im not gna b a hair dresser , thinkin lawyer , but definnatly thinkin child phycology hw eva u spell it !

Sum lad added me on bebo and it was the gyal hu he cheated on me withs mate ! :s

I just want to for get about it all , so why are things dragging me back , im feelin so strong at the mo , jusst tryna get good grades at the mo and tryna for get bwt the sitution im in and the ones i was in :s , its over so y are ppl like him addin me , im tired of it i really am , i just wna live my life with no problems frm him or her .

in my eyes i should b forgooton by him , but i dnoo if he has forgoton me yet , tbh i wudnt really mind if he did , im kinda happy now , but just sometimes things drang me back , it like 1 step foraward then being dragged 3 steps back !

but anyhu , im shatted i need sum bloddy sleep!




x

THE STREESS , THE DRAMA , I AM THE DEFINITION OF STRESS

Not worte on here for abit , wel a day lol , just been so busy what with school and courswork and home and stuff , ive had no time to my self at all , soo ill take ten mins out just to do this!

I got my mate to block this sight so no one could see it , i tried blocking it agen and agen and agen! but even when i go on it now it says that im not aloud anywho !

Im not very well , taking theese pills which i got from the hospital , there surposed to help but there is a risk aswel .They make my emunne system weaker , this isnt surposed to happen for another few weeks yet but its kickin in already , ive got a cold and its bloddy end of summer , virus's can attack my system alot quicker now and can do an awful not more damage , and because im streesed and under alot of pressure its making it worse , the doctors want to bring me in to hospital but there is no way i can afford the time off school at all , i will get weaker and weaker over the next few months thats a pritty scary thought but anyhu fingas crossed il b ryt (Y)

Jeeees i have about 20 college application forms lien on my floor which need filling in :( :( the thought of leaving skwl is actually pritty scary but ill b ryt (Y)
God i wanted to do hair dressing and beauty but ive been told thats a dead end job :( which puts me off and ive put an awful lot of thought into it and there right my mum is an ex - hair dresser and she even said its a dead end job. so now im thinkin lawyer again , hmmm but i just dont think im clever enough to do that but if i do get the opertunity to do that i really will give it my alll :D butt omdz 7 years of training , that means i wont reallly get much time travvling , so again im think child phycololgy , im so bloody stuck , i havnt got a clue , so im gna have to get on the internet and get crakin on look what courses are available to me eyy !

I get up at 6 - 6 .30 ish , i come home around 4- 5 ish ,when i get home i do around 3 and half hours of homework im that tired that i have to go 2 bed , i have no time for anything !

The boy !

Ive also thought alot about this to , amungst an awful lot of other things , i am not ready for another bf, i do not have the time for one , i dont have the energy either , all i am doing now is getting my head down and concentrating on things that really matter in my life , but how do i tell him cos hes sayin love u now , i dont feel anything towards him so u just say nuff lv 2 him i think that offends him a lil but i dnt wna ....... i dnt think hurt is the word, but yeah hurt :s :s :s lol

I was bought a lomo camera the other day , i was soo excited about getting it , but im going to wait untill the weekend to open it all up because if i did it now , there is no was i would get anything done . but my dad has got it now which is a good thing for me lol .


Im soo tired now , sooo soo tired i have so may things that i am worrying about now and thinking aboout , anyhu i best crak on with courswork , which needs to be handed in on friday :( oooh noo , looks like i will b up all night doing that

Awww , i was talking to some one to day and they kept lookin at me weird i was like why are you lookin at me like that , awww and they said god you have beautufull eyes , that made me a lil happy lol .



jorja - mercedes -x

I NEED TO BE HAPPY !

Wel this blog will no longer be about boys or my problems , but gonna be how my life is and all the things i have 2 face on the way ! but no one reads this , my own line diary wooho lol better than wriiting it on paper!

How im feeling!

im feeling happy in a way , but also very sad i just spoke 2 that boy well i had an argument with him , then it calmed down, i made a big mistake being with him, from the begging i had my doubts about the age , and i didnt sleep some nights because i worried about it that much! but i sort off got over it and his age never seamed to be a problem anymore , the age was the biggest problem we had at the time! wel were over and im living my life still , i meaan this from the bootoom of my broken heart that i hope to god some way some how he gets 2 b the happiest man around , i would pay a hell of a load of money for him 2 b happy! i hope to god no body takes him for a ride and fuks him over , i hope he is treated amamzingly!

my heart is on its way to being mended wohoo by the help of another lad , when i say that it sounds like i am jumping frm one lad to another but im not , hes so genuine , he swore 2 me he would never hurt me and never cheat me on me but so did the last one but sum thing tells me he is being genuine ,hes a good lad ! ive known him for properly for a few months maybe , but he was at a party that i was at but i never new he was there lol but appratly he knew hu i was , the loud , funny , one he called me lol greatt thats how people no me the loud one lol ! but now hes like i think im faling for u abnd im like in my heart isnt it a bit soon , he tells me all the things he likes about me and im like oooooooh jeeess louise , hes tells me im wkd lol but im not lol!

im not going to let myself get to attached right now , im just going to see where it takes me , and hes not the kind of lad that just dosnt want sex !

But theres this lad at skwl 2 , hes always i dnoo lol messing about wiv me , and he always sits next 2 me n we chat alot bwt music and that , its not that hes giving me the signs hmmmmmm but everyone thinks we like each other , yeah i like him as a friend! but hes fit , soo i doubt he likes me hehe ooh welll lol

Home life !

it gets worse by the day but i try and hide the fact that i am confused beyond belive , im sad because its nearly a year since he left, im sad because this is how its all turning out , im sad because my family will never be the same , im sad because i have 2 pak n leave , everything aboiut it is making me miserable, but i try my hardest to stay strong for my family, my sister is back at work now after her carrer break and my lil brothers are back at schoool and so are me and benita so shes home alone all day , so i call her at break and lunch to see if shes alright ! cos thats all i can really do with being at skwl and what not!

my time at home will get harder and i no it will , i no there will b more fights and arguments between my dad and my mum and i no i wil have 2 move house and leave every thing i have ever really known and move sum where new !

my life will never be the same , but it has to go on and i have 2 b grown up about it all. i have 2 smile when i dont feel like smilling , i have to loook after my family while i have other things on my mind , right now i try to put barriers up and have skwl and home, but its hard when my mum depends on me so much

she callls me her lil soldier hahah do i look like a boy hahahah, she sed i appear frm no where when she needs me the most, i am her daughter and would die for her i would die dor any onein my familly !


i think abiut love to much , i live my life around love , when i dont need to!


throught out alll of this pain i am felling right now not includind the hospitall side of thing which i try and block out of my head cos my dreams could sooon before if things go rong ! but i will make it through i hope to god , il say a few prayers but if and when i do get throught it


GOD , I HOPE HE GIVES ME THE STRENTH TO FIGHT BACK !

HOW FRIKIN BAD DO I FEEL !

Wel i was seing this lad and ive just told him , that im not ready for another relationship and that i have to many things to deal with at the moment what with school and home and what not , which is true i think this year needs to be the year when i need to be on my own and be concentrating and getting my head down , n not being loved up , i dont wana fall in love again for a long time to come !

He was really underrstanding and was like i hope we can still b friends and chat on msn n that i said yeah corse but i dont think i should speek to him as much anymore !

Hes a really nice lad , good looking could get any girl he wants, a big computer wiz lol!


But to be honest i was rong for saying yes to him , i hope i havnt hurt him , i really do hope i havnt , ill make sure hes alright lol !

Well this academic year is gona b hard and i no i need no one but me , i feel strong at the mo , despite all of the bad news i am gettin at the mo

but still as i always say IF IT DONT KILL YOU IT WIL MAKE YOU STRONGER !

Work needs to be done , i need to live the singal life which is a good one for a bit ey ! get my hed down and then get coledge over with

ive deciced what i want to be now n thats a hair dresser ! Its easy im good at it alredy , wel not with my bush lol its a bit diff when you do your own lol
and i can come back after traveling and get into it stright away

god ive wanted to be so many things but now i think its defo hair dressing !

X

ONCE UPON A TIME IN A FAR AWAY LAND LIVED A PRINCESS AND HER PRINCE BUT ....

Once upon a time lived a young girl, she was outgoing, she was never sad , she loved everyone and didnt really feel hate to anyone , she was a happy young girl who loved life and didnt want to grow up!

One day she met a prince on her travels, he was very kind,very funny , so caring , ever so sweet and wasnt selfish.

The girl young girl was having a very had time at home because her mother and father were arguing and her father had moved out, during the period she felt like she could talk to the prince, she built trust in him, a few months went by and she built a lot of trust in the prince , a few more weeks went past and she started to fall in love with the prince and then knew that she wanted to be his princess .


The prince and the princess spent many happy months together , she loved being with him she felt she could escape homelife, when she was with him she knew that the prince made her so happy.

A few months past and the prince and the princess started grow apart the princess did not no why this was happening she thought it was her fault so she tried her hardest to talk to the prince and to try and connect with him and let him see how much she really did love him but her plan failed and sh felt so rejected, because the prince and princess did not live together they had to meet up when ever they had free time because they were both pritty busy people and both had reponsilbilties, the princes understood why she did not see him as much as she wanted to , and could deal with it because all the love she heled in her hear was for him and no body else and knew that if he could make it to see her that was ok !

The prince and the princess started arguing on a regualar basis about silly pathetic things , one of then was the princeses ex boyfriend when he arranged to meet up with her she told the prince because she kept nothing from him and felt she was doing the right thing by doing this the prince did not approve of this at all , and it caused an argument the princeses told the prince she was very sorry for making him angry and she wouldnt meet the boy who she was going to meet even though she had not seen him in around a year or so and they used to be very very good friends until she left him!

The princeses knew somthing was wrong with hers and the prince's relationship she knew she was losing him, she felt as if she couldnt trust him and that he was cheating on her , the princess had night mares about him cheating on her and she told the prince all about it but he didnt care, the princeses got really sad and lonely all of the princeses friends were happy with there lovers except the princess she talked about it with her friends and they told her it would pass and that the prince loved her. The princeses couldnt sleep and was worrying like crazy about there relationship because she didnt want to loose the prince.

A little more time went by and the princes was so lonely and felt life was not worth living but knew she needed to stay around for her familys sakes!

The prince was having doubt about there relationship to , this started to worry the princees alot and made her ill with worry !

The princeses sat down and knew that she was making the prince un happy , so she came to the very difiicult decsion of letting go of him , she loved the prince so much that she would do anything to make him happy again and if that ment leaving him them so be it !

The princeses woke up one sunday morning in her palace and knew to day had to be the day that she sad goodbye to he true love so they had a chat and came to the conclusion that it was there final goodbye the princeses was very very sad about this and felt she had to leave the prince somthing to remember her by so she wrote the prince a letter and gave him a picture of her when she was a child because the prince and the princeses planeed of being king and queen and having little princeses and prince's of there own one day , so she wanted the prince to put them together and to see what they babies would have looked like !

The princeses didnt sleep at all for weeks , and didnt eat either this was making her ill , her mother became increasily worried about the princess and the mother thought it would be a good idea for the princes to go and see the best concilour in the land , the princess refused this help and told her mother she would deal with on her own , the hole sitation made the princess ill and all she wanted was her prince back but she knew that she had made the disicion in the first place to let go of him.

A few days after they finised the princeses found out somthing which made her even more ill and this was that the prince that one person she had ever really loved had been cheating on her , her heart fell apart as they were on the phone to each other , she didnt hate the prince for what he had done to her , she didnt want to her hurt him , the princes had to much to deal with and was hurting beyound belive right now and she had no one to turn to about it , the princeses began to grow very strong and knew she didnt need any one but her self in her life she didnt need the prince because he had hurt her to much, she didnt need any prince!

The princeses heart has been broken many many time over the last year and her prince had just added to it... the princeses is know moving on , and is getting to be happy with the ocasional txt to the prince just seeing how he is .

The princeses is on her way to being happy , its now her last year in school and then she will leave , and start to grow up good and proper and start to plan her trips around the world and start to get the money together she needs to for fill her dreams traveling around!

The princeses misses her prince at times but she knows in her heart she has made the right decision , she hopes that the prince and the princes can still be friends.

And she hopes that the prince wil find his tru tru princeses one day and be very happy with her!

The princeses loved the prince very very much and is just sorry that he couldnt see all the love she held for him !


There is no "the end" to this story as for the Princess this is just the beginning.

IM SOO EXCITRED , MAKES ME SOOO HAPPY !

WOW WOW WOW WOW this pic makes me get lil butterflies in my stomach ,






WOW



IM JUST SOO FREEEEEEEKIN HAPPY AND EXCITED , THIS IS WHAT IM ACTUALLY LIING FOR NOW , KNOWING THAT ONE DAY , I WILL MAKE ALL OF THIS COME TRUE ONE DAY ON MY OWN , TAKE MY SELF THERE , PAY FOR IT ALL , (y)


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


X

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWOW!!!

When ever im down or sad , i just take a look at this picture and look at my future and just lookin at this pic makes me soo happy and gets me so excited , it does this to me just lookin at a pic of the place never mind being there , i cant wait to get there i really , woohoo you dont even no how excited i really am , its all i really talk about when my mates ask me are you goin to uni , there like ohh im sorry i asked cos i just speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel on about it cos im actually in love with the place , over the last few 5-6 weeks ive done alot of research into japan and the drift world!! i want to do so much while im there , ill have to find some nice japaneeeeeeeeeese lad to teach me hopw to drift cos u dnt even no how much i wna learn how to do it , i wont b any gd , just the experience lol

Im sat here with a big smile on my face cos it just makes me soo soo soo soo happy lol! tbh i dont mind if when im 18 no one really wants to come cos my friends arnt like that they would rather chil in stockport of burnage or whereeva there hole lifes and cos to ibiza or i dnoo teneriffe once a year , but i just wna get out of this place and see great things , and i hope when that time comes i have somebody to share it with , someone who feels like the same way as i do about it all , ooh this is gonna b hard :( lol , ohh welll ill just go on my own if no one comes with me !

i love meettin new people , so i hope this is another wkd cahnce to meet new people! id love to see what the nyt lyf is there 2!

my dream is to stay in japan for abit then , how ever long im aloud to stay there , and then move on .......... havnt got a clu where yet!

But i surpose i have to liv for now and face reality first lol


3 more years and i will make my own dreams come tru

i best stop chatin on now cos im gonaa have a party in my pants im soo so soooooo soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo EXCITED WOOOOOHOOO LOL


x